A time to connect

18th april 2007

Yesterday’s evening was particularly a restless one for me. Two of the elder boys of the children’s home were beaten up and verbally abused by some rowdy boys of the area. They narrated the incidence to Riti n me. I was thrown back into the past and felt an adrenalin rush; I remembered the time when I was young and faced similar situations. Many forgotten old wounds were opened as I listened to how the other kids treat the kids of the children’s home. They’ve been beaten, made fun of and called names (“anaath” “orphan”) by the more previliged kids. I've been discriminated against as a kid; now if I see it happening in-front of me, it gives me murderous impulses.

I have an idea about rivalries between groups that start very early on in life and might turn into a sort of gang rivalry with serious repercussions as the guys reach adolescence and beyond. “My gang” no longer exists, they’ve all dispersed far and wide…how I wish it was like the old days and “we” would take these guys down happily…besides, I’m too grown up to be thinking of living a life I lived 11 years back. The evening was spent in trying to convince myself that if I retaliate with violence, I’ll actually set a bad example for the kids at the children’s home and who knows the situation might go out of hand. The better plan seemed like talking to the parents of these unruly juveniles; but then, had they had good parents, they wouldn’t really be beating up bunch of poor kids. Restless and writhing in the hurt from the past, I just sat and tried to empty my head of those dirty moments. Only recently had I resolved to not let it affect me anymore, right now I’m just sitting and making a list of the people I have to get even with. Aren’t we just animals inside…there must be something more to a man than this!

The other day, Sister Annie was appreciating our spending time with the kids and I wondered what the big deal was. Today I realized why she felt that way; there are many children, adults and all in between that abhor giving a touch of love or extending a hand of friendship to these “apparent” orphans. 22 of these buds go to school, do their homework, bathe and wash their clothes, do gardening, watch TV, eat whatever is given to them everyday with thanksgiving in their hearts (they’re all very well aware that they’re living on charity). In many ways they have a better schedule than most children with busy/undisciplined parents, yet when they step out of their shelter, they’re made to feel unwanted and are ostracized. I hope it doesn’t backfire on this apathetic society; I hope Guddu, Ankit, Rinku, Suraj, John and others don’t grow up and decide to pay back those villains in kind. I hope they grow up, are well educated and responsible citizens and leave the bad memories behind….This sounds so rhetorical! We all must do our bit to ensure that this world becomes a better place.