Saturday, April 16, 2011

bon voyage

My protein prep’s getting screwed for the past more than a week. It did so again today and the frustration was immense. I didn’t feel like doing anything yet pined to do something that would take my mind off the failure and give me a sense of relief that there was more to life that would recharge me to take the bull by the horns the next day. At 8:15pm I wanted to go back home and thought it would be better to go back and tidy up the mess of a room I had created; a constant reminder that something wasn’t right in my life and I had no control. I wake up in a mess and go to bed in a mess just to remind myself constantly that I am not taking charge of my life yet. I know the day I clean up the room is the day I take on the problems at work as well. It’s funny how I’ve gotten into this habit of subliminal reminders about taking control of life. Anyway, just when I was planning to go back home, I thought I’d say hi to Anuj as it’s one of his last days at IMTECH. No sooner had I reached the hostel, I saw Mirage and Balot accompanying Anuj and the rest is history. It was Anuj, Balot, Mirage, Surendra and I, lots of peanuts, some boiled eggs, some other stuff, Kellog’s chocos (I love munching on them) and a bottle of Aniquity. We ended up having one the most fun times ever. It was when I bid goodbye, when the effect of alcohol was dwindled off my nerves when I hugged Anuj goodbye to leave for home that I realized that this was probably the last time in a long time that we’d get to sit over a drink like this. Emotions came over me and suddenly all the times since January 2006 flashed by. We’ve known each other for a while now and all the great times we’ve shared will be one of the finest memories I’ve had with my guy friends. The alcohol concentration in my blood was milder but not finished. As I rode out, I decided I wasn’t gonna wear the helmet and feel the wind on my balding head and on my face throughout the way. It was awesome as I cruised at low speed on the straight roads, only slowing a bit on the roundabouts. There were some stretched where the air was cold, the wind raced into my shirt and enveloped my in cold, chest, back, hands, all. I was thankful when this cold stretch ended and the tepid wind no longer made me feel lonely. The street lights passed over like bright stars. I was riding with just one hand, the other resting on my thigh. The strong wind made my eyes water but it felt nice. I enjoyed the ride that got over pretty quickly. Loved being alone and hated the thought of being attached to another degree after this.
Here I am back in the messy room, my laptop adjusted between the clothes sprayed on the table, telling me that I need to take control; a disconcerting thought that tells me this second just passed me by without me having taken any control of my life in it.

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